The Wake and Bake for the Grown Ass Woman

The speed of modern life whips by with little time for reflection. We feel the weight of the 24-hour news cycle, deadlines, maintaining healthy relationships, and family life. These anxieties pull aggressively at us, distracting from a much needed moment of pause.

But then there's the wake and bake, the colloquial household handle to describe the act of smoking or consuming cannabis first thing in the morning. And what better time to get high than while the sun bursts out of darkness to warm your face while the birds gracefully chirp? The world is a little more quiet and this, I’ve found, is an ideal moment for a gentle dose of weed.

The shame and guilt that circles the wake and bake can muzzle your most vulnerable and inspiring moments in the morning. The sticky stereotyping of "stoner behavior", at the hands of the War on Drugs, has stymied an urgency for research on the benefits of smoking, vaping, eating, and ingesting cannabis in the sweet hours of the morning.

But we can change that by creating our very own wake and bake rituals, designed especially for grown ass women. Here, a couple pro tips to get you on your way.

Start early

While the rest of the world snoozes through 5 am, rumor has it that some very successful people are wide awake, already rising and grinding. So why shouldn’t successful stoners be too? The wee hours of the morning are the perfect chance to engage in a dose of realigning euphoria. Being up early gives you time to meditate, work out, eat breakfast, and answer emails — all before getting to the office. Crawling out of bed that early is daunting, but starting with a little weed allows you enjoy the gentleness of the morning with a promise of productivity as the hours go by. Listen, a wake and bake ritual isn’t for everyone, especially if you’re new to consuming cannabis. But if you’re feeling spontaneous, consider experimenting on a day when you have little to no responsibilities. (You might be a weekend wake and baker.)

Get the F out of bed

This is going to be your biggest pro tip. Please, please, please get out of bed before you hit that pipe, joint, or vape pen. Not only does the action of getting out of bed wake you up, but it lowers the chance of falling back asleep. Walk to the window and look out at the sunrise during your toke. Walk the pup while taking discreet doses from your pen. Whatever you do, do it once you’re out of that bed. This part of the ritual trains your body and gets you ready to handle the day like a true boss.

Evaluate your workday

This might sound like biz jargon, but what you do for a living is a vital thing to keep in mind before indulging in a weekday wake and bake ritual. Assess where your head's at. How do you feel emotionally? Do you have a large workload later in the day? Is your line of work in the creative realm, or is it technical? If you're responsible for handling heavy machinery, reserve your ritual for a morning when you’re off duty.

Start with a low dose

Start slow, sweetie. Your body is more sensitive in the early morning and cannabis is going to have a serious impact on the way you feel. Knowing your comfort level is key. Test it during the weekend to figure out your stoner G-spot, as it were. Feel out how long it takes for the cannabis to peak in your system. The good thing about starting slow is that you can always have more.

Get that CBD and citrus ready

Both CBD and citrus are your best friends when it comes to managing the discomfort of getting too high. Consider keeping a fast-acting CBD tincture or vape on hand to serve as an antidote for the effects THC. CBD has the ability to help with the anxiety and paranoia one might get from being too stoned, allowing you to chill the fuck out and focus on the day ahead. The British Journal of Pharmacology states that citric acid found in lemons, oranges, and grapefruits is an acute way to reduce the effects of THC. Eat that pulp—it's where most of the acid is found.

Think of it as your new workout bud

They don’t call it a runner’s high for nothing. Actually, it has less to do with being blazed and more to do with the release of endorphins. Either way, having a toke before your morning workout can remedy soreness, and inflammation so you can physically and mentally get into the zone. Here’s the thing, as grown ass women, a lot of us have previous injuries, knee trouble, or stiff backs. Cannabis will make you feel light, supple and down for an intense bike ride or a five-mile run. But you should still be careful.

Read more about Mennlay (and her cookbook!).
Photo of Mennlay by Jake Lindeman