Ashley Manta on Cannabis, Intimacy & Intention

As February conversations around romance and intimacy wind down, sex educator Ashley Manta — who coined the term “Cannasexual” — shares how she approaches combining cannabis and sex with intention.

You coined the term “CannaSexual.” What does that mean to you today, and how has your understanding of it evolved?

"CannaSexual" was intended to be a philosophy for combining sex and cannabis. Mindfully and deliberately combining sex and cannabis to deepen intimacy and enhance pleasure whether solo or partnered. That is still very much my ethos around sex and altered states. It has broadened to include my approach to psychedelics as well, but at its core it has always been about how to approach combining those two things.

From a physiological standpoint, how can Cannabis influence libido and arousal?

Cannabis is not a magic horny pill. It works differently for everyone depending on dose, context, and method of administration so it's difficult to point to universal physiological effects, especially on something as multifaceted as libidio and arousal. What I would say broadly is that THC is a vasodilator so it can bring more blood flow to the genitals, especially when applied topically. That would mimic physiological symptoms of arousal. As far as libido, cannabis can help address the things that get in the way of feeling turned on--like pain, performance anxiety, feeling disconnected from the body, or struggles with attention and presence.

You often talk about the nervous system. How does Cannabis shift someone from stress mode into a state where desire is possible?

Cannabis can help quiet the internal noise that sometimes distracts us from being present. It can also help relax your muscles and nerves and blood vessels so you're less tense and constricted. Cannabis can open up your awareness to noticing more things that hit your gas pedal versus your brakes. It can also decrease uncomfortable or painful sensations, which are often distracting.

How do you define “set and setting” in the context of intimacy, not just general Cannabis use?

There are a few key factors I would suggest paying attention to when it comes to set and setting for intimacy. Feeling safe is primary. Not just in terms of physical safety in your surroundings, but emotional safety between partners. Does intimacy feel appealing? Not just “are you horny?” (a flawed benchmark that ignores responsive desire as a normal way to feel desire), but: do you want to be turned on, even if you need a bit of an on-ramp to get there? I'd also include more practical considerations like having the necessary supplies including lube and safer sex items, privacy, time to drop in and provide aftercare so you don't feel rushed, etc?

What does your personal pre-intimacy set and setting look like—environment, mindset, rituals?

I'm a sensualist at heart. I like to have soft bedding, incense, swirly lights, candles, a sexy playlist, and a big waterproof blanket on the bed. I even have a baby bottle warmer on my nightstand so I can warm up my lube. My boyfriend and I like to start by sharing both intentions and our respective "menu" for the evening--what's on the table, what's off the table, and what we hope to co-create together.

How do you personally approach dosing when you’re using Cannabis for sensual or intimate experiences?

I'm a "less is more" person broadly--both for myself and in what I recommend to the general public. A puff or two of a flower vaporizer or maybe a 2.5mg edible if I have the time. My boyfriend, conversely, is a "more is more" person because as an adult with a mortgage, two teenage children, an AuDHD brain, and a demanding job, it takes a lot more to get him out of his head and into his body. I prefer high potency THC/CBD blends of topicals and suppositories to most other things for intimate experiences these days, largely because my perimenopause struggles veer more toward pain with penetration and a need for increased blood flow and lubrication than a need for mindset shift.

Are there specific terpene profiles or types of products you gravitate toward for libido support? Why?

A lot of people find relaxing terpenes like linalool or beta-caryophyllene to be helpful for a relaxed vibe and stimulating terps like limonene or pinene to be better for energizing. As always, everyone is different so you have to assess which terpenes work best for your body. I'm a big fan of terpinolene for mental stimulation and playfulness, but others find it anxiety producing. As far as types of products, I definitely prefer topicals and suppositories for people with vulvas, then inhalation, then edibles as a distant third. Edibles are easy to overdo and unpredictable with onset times (yes, even the "nano" ones that say they hit in 15 mins. Color me skeptical).

Have you ever had a Cannabis experience that didn’t enhance intimacy? What did you learn from that?

More than once. About 5 years ago I started getting horrific panic attacks that were made worse by pretty much any cannabis strain or product I tried. It fundamentally changed my relationship with the plant and I had to massively recalibrate my dosing and context for consumption, especially for intimacy. Gone are the days of doing 50mg and having marathon sex. Now I do tiny hits, assess how I'm feeling, and add a little more at a time until I hit cruising altitude. Most of the time I only do topicals or suppositories because they don't cause any kind of head high. I learned that you have to meet your body where it is and accept that your relationship to dosing or method of consumption may shift over time.

For someone who feels disconnected from their body or struggles with low desire, how would you suggest they begin exploring Cannabis intentionally?

It starts with an internal assessment: what's getting in the way? If you don't desire sex with your partner because the sex isn't satisfying, no amount of cannabis is going to fix that for you. If it's something like too much mental chatter, I'd recommend starting with a small amount of whatever you're consuming, waiting until you feel the effects, and then masturbating. It's the best way to field test how the product or strain hits you because it's a sexual context in which you control all the variables. That's the best way to determine if this product or strain is going to get you closer to feeling embodied and sensual or if it's going to move you further from that state.

What’s one misconception people still have about Cannabis and sex that you wish would disappear?

The idea that sativas are uplifting and indicas are sleepy. That myth has been disproven again and again and yet I still hear people say that they only use sativas for sex. Or, in the same vein, that specific strains are better or worse for sex. You could line up 10 people and give them the same dose of the same strain and they will likely have wildly different experiences. There's no quick or universal answer. People have to figure out what works for them and then keep data gathering because bodies and contexts shift over time.