High Horoscopes: How To Survive April’s Retrogrades

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Congratulations, fam. If you’re reading this, you’ve survived one the most intense and turbulent Mercury retrograde periods on this side of the Y2K. Celebrate, Goddess! Roll-up your favorite flower, inhale the gratitude, and exhale the stresses of the month gone past. We’ll need it. In April 2019, power planets Jupiter, Saturn, and Pluto will all team up for the largest retrograde mash-up of this year. And along with this month’s powerful new and full moons, rejuvenation and rebirth are total priorities this month. Check your sign’s horoscope by Miss Grass astrologer, The AfroMystic, for how to ensure that you’re in the right headspace to succeed!


Happy belated birthday, Aries, but there’s no reason to stop partying now. Spring is here, the flowers are blooming, and the cosmos are giving you full license to reinvent yourself, show up, and show off! The new moon in your sign on April 5 brings the opportunity to spark a new fire inside, whether it be your own creative fire, or the flame of a new love interest. Both Mercury and Venus move into your sign on the April 17 and 20 respectively, magnifying the themes of communication and romance in your life (you know, the things everyone always suggests Aries work on). Don’t be afraid to let your natural outgoing and gregarious nature lead you to the connections and good times you deserve this month! Reinvent yourself for the springtime, and step back on the scene. It’s been a cold, long winter, Aries. We all need that joyous heat that only you can bring.

Flower Ally: Laughing Buddha to kick any lingering wintertime depression in the ass.
Act of Self-Care:
Grab your INDA pipe necklace and go out for a high energy outing with your funniest of friends.


Go Taurus, it’s finally your birthday! I know we’re four months into the year, but go ahead and consider this month the actual beginning of 2019 for you. The cosmos are offering you a huge change of perspective this April, peaking around the 20th, with our glorious Sun joining forces with Uranus: the ruler of all things liberated and free. Sometimes what’s familiar isn’t always what’s best for us, and this April your medicine is being wide open to the unexpected. Surrender to the road less traveled, and surprise yourself with the joys of an unplanned date, a day trip, or an impromptu switch in schedule. Any “weird impulses” or “wild ideas” are actually intuitive hits for you now, so revel in the unusual. Do so, and watch your world respond with more wholeness than you could have expected.

Flower Ally: Get free and try a strain completely different than your usual.
Act of Self-Care:
Ditch your usual CBD tincture for something a little more playful. Try the Lord Jones CBD gummies, to start.


You alright there, dear Gemini? Your ruling planet Mercury has just ended its retrograde cycle, and you’re probably gathering the pieces of yourself off of the floor (luckily for better, instead of worse). As much of a wild time as the last three weeks have been, the cosmos message to you is to keep your priorities and boundaries rock-solid. The fiery planet of Mars is marching around in your sign for the first time in two years, and with the Sun moving into your twelfth house, you are being asked to secure your spiritual and physical borders more solidly than ever before. You’re kinda vulnerable and little squishy right now, love. Make sure to advocate for your personal space this month, speak up boldly when lines are crossed at work or at home, and stay close to your tourmaline crystals to keep vampiric vibes at bay.

Flower Ally: LA Confidential. It’s relaxing enough for a private, solo smoke sesh.
Act of Self-Care:
Keep yourself grounded and calm. Plant Power CBD capsules would be the perfect nervous system relief.


Sweet child of the Moon, the universe is conspiring to bring you out into the world this month. You’re naturally tapped into the pulse of the lunar cycle, and this new moon in Aries on April 5 occurs in your sector of career and public persona. Are you in the process of “branding” yourself? Are you ready to try for that promotion at work? Got some ladders to climb? Now is an amazing time for you to put on that cute business blazer, and capitalize on the successful energy swirling around you. Saturn and Pluto bring a dose of seriousness to the table, so take this intention a step further by organizing a success strategy meetup with your “productivity friends.” Set some attainable targets, and commit to holding each other accountable for achieving the goals you’ve all made.

Flower Ally: Green Crack for get-shit-done energy this month.
Act of Self-Care:
Stay sharp with some supplements designed to help you focus and try the Pomodoro technique to manage your hustle.


The world isn’t big enough for you, Leo! The whole month of April gives you an opportunity to take your mind or your body to new places, and consider perspectives never before considered. Whether you’re doing some actual traveling, or just traveling to your inner world with a spliff and a book, philosophical ideas are plenty and abundant. Watch how the Muse possesses you and claims you as her own on this next new moon, bringing you blasts of creative inspiration that feed the deepest parts of you. Dive headfirst into interesting conversations, make some music, write some songs, or paint. Make sure to be careful with overindulgence, however; Jupiter goes retrograde in your house of hedonism on the April 5, so make sure to cut back on your vices. Like my eccentric Leonian Aunt always says, “smoke the ganja; don’t let the ganja smoke you”.

Flower Ally: Candyland for being uplifting and stimulating for a creative expression session.
Act of Self-Care:
Surround yourself with color and creativity — even if it’s just something small like a psychedelic ashtray.


Like your Gemini siblings, your Mercury-ruled heart caught a large dose of last month’s retrograde messiness. Luckily, you’re likely to catch a break this month as you’re being given the opportunity to finally enjoy the benefits of all of the work you’ve been putting in over the past year or so. Your effort has not gone unseen, genius! With Saturn and Pluto retrograding in your house of joy, unexpected accolades and gifts manifest like clockwork–showing you the impact of the excellence you naturally exude at work. Celebrate your high grade performance. Around the April 5, make a personal pact to balance any oppressive busy-bodiness with acts of radical self-care and personal pleasure. The pressure is off, and you hella deserve this downtime.

Flower Ally: A nice clear Indica chill like Master Kush because you deserve it.
Act of Self-Care:
Tone down your productivity, and do something for pleasure. Try cooking with Potli’s lush CBD oil.


Whether you’re single or boo’d up, relationships are a consistent coffee-table discussion this month for you, Libra. As the eternal baes of the zodiac, managing the delicate balance between your needs and the needs of others is always of utmost priority. With your very relational 4th, 7th, and 8th houses being activated now, you may find that this month is far from a “solo” month for you. You have the go-ahead to make things more serious with the folks in your life—and to eliminate the distractions. Decisions about who’s in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime come to a crossroad. Around April 5, let your natural social-wisdom help you decide who to trust with the privilege of your partnership. Decide who actually isn’t allowed into your inner circle. Allow yourself to close the doors on all unnecessary social diversions. The full moon in your sign on April 19 will show you why.

Flower Ally: Try a level-headed high for decision-making! We recommend Blue Dream.
Act of Self-Care:
Burn some INDA Creations palo santo to clear out any non-essential relationship ties.


Hey Scorpio, do you remember those Tai-Bo commercials from the 90s and early 2000s, lead by Billy Blanks the fearless fitness guru? Remember how absolutely energized he always was, and how, by the end of the 60 second commercial we’d all be wiping sweat from just watching this guy? Well, congratulations: He’s you. You’re Billy Blanks this April. A tornado of change is blowing into your sector of health and fitness, and it is absolutely, positively the time to upgrade (or start) a workout routine. Commit to this, get into the groove, and you’ll notice an almost immediate boost of self-esteem and self-worth. Give yourself an opportunity to push past previous limitations, and your body (and Billy Blanks!) will be thanking you for your diligence.

Flower Ally: A good CBD tincture to bring overall mind-body wellness.
Act of Self-Care:
See above! This is a tincture month for you, Scorp. And Bloom Farm’s Balance blend is a great place to start.


What’s that saying, young grasshoppa? “Wherever you are, there you go”? I’ll add, “Whoever you thought you once were, now you’ll know". April is a month of self-exploration for you, dear Sag. With your ruling planet Jupiter going retrograde in its native sign, your sign, your natural urge for intellectual breadth and spiritual self-understanding grows, but turns inward. You’re being asked to reflect upon your own heroine’s journey; where have you been winning life, and where have you been short changing yourself? You’ve always had a taste for adventure and risk, true. But where could an improvement in organization and time management skills add the structure that is required to maintain such a passionate lifestyle? Get out the colorful pens, poster board, and Post-It notes, baby. It’s time to get organized.

Flower Ally: Go for a good Pinene Terpene to keep the mind sharp as a tack.
Act of Self-Care:
Puff on a Beboe vape while you get some life admin done.


Welcome, Capricorn, to the purifying fires of catharsis. There can be no “May flowers” without the purgative “showers” of April, so to speak, so with both Saturn (your native ruler) and Pluto (Lord of the underworld) going retrograde, letting go is the name of the game this month. Old, crunchy, crystalized feelings do you no good. Cycling old feelings through your body via movement could be just the medicine you need to step into the next incarnation of yourself as a boss! Make no mistake, they say: “Weed is the healing of the nation” because of the emotional fluidity and openness it brings to the human consciousness. Let “surrender” be your mantra this April and watch how refreshed you feel.

Flower Ally: Jupiter OG for the relaxation needed to just let it all go.
Act of Self-Care:
Relax in the tub or shower with something delicious-smelling.


This month, you find your heart in the art forms of writing and speaking, Aquarius. As Mercury and Venus enter your Aries-ruled zone of communication, there are some delightful and insightful thoughts inside of you that need to be heard, and shared! You’ll find that words flow from you like water (you are the water-bearer, after all), so now is an excellent time to start up a journaling practice, or finally write the next chapter in that book you’ve been working on since like, forever. You won’t regret it!

Flower Ally: Pensive and light, Lambs Bread is sure to illuminate your mental lightbulb.
Act of Self-Care:
Grab your cutest, most-favorite pipe and get to writing.


Mercury went retrograde in your sign this last month, helping you to incorporate new life lessons and much needed new perspectives about yourself. This month, the moon, Venus and Mercury will be all activating your area of money, giving you the opportunity to make some coin! Look around and see what bankable skills you’ve been sitting on, and what know-how can be translated into dollar signs for you. If you’ve got a job or a business, take some initiative and find out exactly what’s required for you to take productivity to the next level. What can you do to solidify returns on your personal investments? What specifically is needed for you to get a sizeable raise or promotion? A little bravery and tact goes a long way.

Flower Ally: Power Plant for a peppery, energizing buzz.
Act of Self-Care:
Call in abundance by striking a mystic match on a candle and setting some $$$ intentions.

The AfroMystic is an Astrologer, Diviner, Hoodoo Worker, and Black Witch based in Los Angeles, CA. She’s the founder of TheAfroMystic.com, where she helps femme folx deepen their spiritual ties to their ancestral line, one thread at a time.